i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
