Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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