very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
