just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
