a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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