i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We don't watch enough power rangers
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
