Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
