Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
