something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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