Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Are my feet made of real feet?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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