I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
