she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
