Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
