Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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