Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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