Don't you send me to vm
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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