this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
