Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
