you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
