Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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