Me. At least after what I've been through.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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