Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
