Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
