would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
