do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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