I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
