Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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