It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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