Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
time to smoke my breakfast
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
