omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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