we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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