just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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