who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
