Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well I just put wine in my tea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
