I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
