you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
