I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
