Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
