Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
