hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
