I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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