is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
