you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
