Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
