dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
