blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Actions speak louder than pants.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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