Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
