I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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