Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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