Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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