need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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