if you like me you must not know who I am
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
